With children Archives – year of small things

Let’s talk about public schools (also, did you enter that Goodreads giveaway yet?!)

January 17, 2018Erin Wasinger

The conversation we started in The Year of Small Things wasn’t meant to end with the last page. (We’re living the sequel. Welcome to the version without the editor.) That conversation we started on money? Still having it. The hospitality one? Part of the Arthurs’ everyday life. Oh, and the schools one, the kid monasticism one — all still occupying our thoughts.

Especially that school one.

In the last few months, we’ve been discerning together where our kids should go to school. Again. We’ve asked questions about decisions we’ve made. Again. We’ve made a list of schools, again. I’m talking about segregated schools and school choice and district boundaries, again. The thing about discernment is that it can be a lot of “agains,” so here we are.

Around kitchen tables, through volunteering, through social media, in relationships, we’re talking about feeling conflicted about our values and our choices. To really love our city in an incarnational, live-there way, shouldn’t our kids be educated here, where we live?

This year I (Erin) want to amplify this conversation about equity and relationships and what makes an education “good.” One way I’m doing that is with the new series Passing Notes, where I and guest writers will be talking about our public-school choices (because choosing “the school no one sends their kids to” is also a choice). Subscribe to the Passing Notes newsletter here to follow the voices in this conversation.

And if this conversation is yours, too — where should our kids go to school, especially if we live in the city — let us know. Comment below or post in our Facebook group. Let’s talk about this thing.

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OH! OH! And don’t forget to enter the Goodreads giveaway to win a copy of The Year of Small Things: Radical Faith for the Rest of Us. The contest ends Jan. 30, so get your entry in before everyone else. (Ha!)

5 ways to have a simpler Christmas

November 24, 2017November 24, 2017Erin Wasinger

Remember that one time my family budgeted twenty-five bucks for our family’s Christmas gifts? Yeah, twenty-five dollars total. Luckily, my kids do not remember this grim December. Celebrating was a teeth-gnashing experience: we meant to put more energy and emphasis on the advent and Christmas narrative. Instead of shopping, we’ll go caroling! Instead of plastic toys for our kids we’ll donate toys for someone else’s tots!

Sounded great. Noble, generous.

Instead, we ended up frustrated going through thrift store racks, tired of sewing yet another stuffed animal, and oh-so-ready to be done with the holidays.

So, twenty-five dollar Christmases, we don’t do anymore. But I still … I can’t go back to the days I knew as a child: the mountains of gifts, those gift exchanges where we’d text “What does (some dude) want for Christmas?” from the mall because we and dude didn’t know each other well.

I suspect this might sound familiar. Perhaps you’ve found some kindreds in The Year of Small Things because you want something different — starting with Christmas.

Me too. Let’s do this together.

I’m issuing a Small Things Christmas Challenge!

How will you err on the side of generosity this season?

How will you give differently? How will you refrain from buying too much stuff? Here are some ways that’ve worked for our family since our Grinchy Christmas:

Experiences over gifts: My inlaws start asking for Christmas lists before we’ve even trick-or-treated. So, I needed ideas. I’ve started a conversation in our Facebook group (join us!), where the general consensus (hear me, grandparents!) is that experiences are better than stuff. Zoo memberships, movie gift certificates, trampoline park passes, a promise to go camping, and yadda yadda.
The “want, need, wear, read” list: Something they want, something they need … You get it. We’re doing this in a shortened version; please don’t tell my kids all four of these categories or we can’t be friends anymore.
Pay to play: my kids want to do soccer but the fee is ridiculous. Same with swimming, a music class, or whatever sport they choose (that doesn’t meet on weekend morning and only practices maybe once a week).
We “adopt-a-child” through the local children’s home. The kids get to shop and learn how to pick out items other kids would like (not just “CAN I HAVE THIS”), and it generates a lot of conversation.
We talk at the table about our budget, especially letting everyone choose which nonprofits we’ll donate to (besides our church). Generally, we give more away than we spend on our own gifts, and the kids hear that, even if they don’t quite get why yet.
I’m still looking for a new monastic orthodontist. That really has nothing to do with Christmas, but I want to throw it out there.

TAKE THE SMALL THINGS CHALLENGE: Share ONE small way you’re celebrating differently this year.

Join us on Facebook to talk about it, or comment below!

The summer crazies (and a FREE calendar!)

August 1, 2017Sarah Arthur

Okay. We’re the first to admit it feels like the crazies are winning. All those long, lovely, leisurely days we envisioned in May have given way to shuttling our school-free children all over the Midwest, frantic loads of laundry between trips, and the subtle sleep-deprivation that comes from staying up way too late, thanks to endless dusk. My best attempts at a daily schedule deteriorated within days of Micah’s kindergarten graduation, replaced by variations on, “Didn’t I just feed you?” and “Leave your brother alone. Now.”

Meanwhile, other than an evening sailing and a fun trip to Erin’s hometown in Ohio, the Wasingers and Arthurs have barely managed to greet one another at church, much less meet weekly for dinner. All those good intentions, those small but radical changes for the sake of Jesus, seem to have been obliterated by simply surviving summer.

When did this happen? How did summer become the crash zone for the intentional life of faith? We can’t be the first Christians to experience this, not when monastic communities for centuries have farmed the lands they lived on. Seedtime, harvest, baby livestock, upkeep of the grounds and buildings, storing food for winter, washing every last thing while there’s hot sun to dry it…and yet the daily rhythm of prayer, shared meals, and worship never cease. The bells still ring, summoning the community together. A reminder to pause in your labor. Rest from your striving. Seek the presence of the One whose sustaining power is everlasting, no matter the season.

Breathe.

Consider this update one of those bells. Restore the rhythm. Don’t let the crazies win. Step back from the fray, revisit your spiritual goals. What one small thing are you working on? Is it living simply, befriending the poor and marginalized, caring for creation, seeking justice, being honest about your mental health? Don’t wait for September 1 before you take some practical steps again. Call one of your covenantal friends right now. Today. Reread the chapter that inspired you.

And download this spectacular FREE calendar–a gift from our publisher to you–that tracks The Year of Small Things starting August 1, just like the book itself does. A daily, visual reminder to put first things first, even if they’re small.

And if you need some extra encouragement, here are some opportunities for further reflection:

We love this excellent interview in Interpreter Magazine: “We’re not in ministry to the struggling. We are called into friendship with those who are struggling. That is a whole different thing.”
Here’s a thoughtful, insightful review in The Christian Century: “The Year of Small Things is about doing the dishes. It’s about the hard work of serious discipleship when you have a life and family.”
Don’t miss these podcast interviews with Jen Pollock Michel, author of Keeping Place: Reflections on the Meaning of Home and with Brian Bantum, author of The Death of Race: Building a New Christianity in a Racial World.

Do you hear them, the bells? Don’t let the summer crazies win.

Motherhood as a spiritual discipline

March 14, 2017Erin Wasinger

Our The Year of Small Things perfectly encapsulates the discord between spiritual disciplines and parenthood. For instance: that time our families tried praying with a live candle. Also, the time we had zero energy left to form words, let alone prayers. See also: the time Sarah’s husband remarked that his spiritual life was more Daniel Tiger than the prophet Daniel … on and on.

So we’re thrilled that we got to be in conversation with our Redbud Writers Guild colleague, Catherine McNiel. Catherine’s written a book that speaks to the desire for God in our current realities, and reminds us that God meets us in that everyday chaos. So, so good. Read on and listen to the podcast interview:

Download this episode (right click and save).

Catherine, tell us about yourself!

Thank you! I’m a mom with three kids (and a few part-time jobs). I love to read and garden. I love to study theology and ancient cultures. I’m always trying to learn something new. I enjoy getting to know my neighbors and learning how different people see the world. I love to explore how theology impacts our real, physical lives…and how our real lives impact theology. I’m enamored by the creation of new life but find that working in the garden is less exhausting than pregnancy. ☺

Now, introduce us to your book Long Days of Small Things: Motherhood as a Spiritual Discipline.

Long Days of Small Things is a book that looks at the real life work we do in our everyday lives, and finds God right here in the midst of it. It’s a book for moms (or dads…or grandparents…or caregivers…) who know they don’t have any extra time or energy, but still want a way to connect with God and discover how to find Him.

How do you do that in Long Days of Small Things?

In each chapter I tell stories from our real lives—the seasons and stages of motherhood, pregnancy and delivery, infant days, sleepless nights, caring for children of all ages—and the tasks that fill them. I look at spiritual tools that already hide there—like sacrifice, surrender, service, perseverance, and celebration—and consider how we can open our eyes to the spiritual boot camp we walk through every day. Without adding anything extra to our live or to-do lists, we practice so many disciplines every moment of the day.

Why did you decide to write Long Days of Small Things: Motherhood as a Spiritual Discipline?

A few years ago I was a work-from-home mom with a baby, a toddler, and a preschooler. These precious, demanding children took me all the way to the end of my rope…and left me there indefinitely! My life changed in every way, yet I heard only the same spiritual prescriptions I’d always heard: spend quiet time each day with God. Find 30-60 minutes each day to be in silence and solitude before the Lord. As I considered the classic spiritual practices (which I love!)—prayer, worship, fasting, meditation, service, solitude, etc.—it became abundantly clear that the realities of motherhood meant I was likely to fail. Or opt out entirely.

But my spirit didn’t allow me to do that. I heard a lament rising in the hearts of the women around me—I have nothing left, nothing left to care for myself or give to God. But as I looked at the actual seasons and tasks of motherhood, I was convinced that there was no better “boot camp” for my soul. Each day we mothers create, we nurture. Each day we are pushed to the end of ourselves and must surrender, sacrifice, and persevere. Each day we serve, pouring ourselves out. We empty ourselves for those in our care—and isn’t this emptiness the very reliance on God that the spiritual disciplines are designed to produce?

I’m convinced that motherhood is doing an eternal work on my soul, even if I’m too exhausted and overwhelmed to notice just now.

How is this book different from all the other books and conversations out there regarding motherhood today?

There are so many books out there for moms on the topic of devotion and spirituality. Almost all of them have this in common: after admitting that moms are exhausted, stretched too thin, without any margin or time or energy, they look for a few extra minutes here or there which might be harvested for God; or offer a Bible study or prayer list that might fit in the tiny slots. Get up at 4:30am before the baby wakes at 5am! Read two minutes of the Bible each day!

I’m all for doing these things when it works, but I’m convinced that we don’t need to exit motherhood to have a spiritual life. Our children are what we create, and this is where our Creator God meets us. I’m certain of it. Without adding more “should’s” or “to-do’s” to our days, we can open our eyes to a unique spiritual journey, made just for us—and find him here. We’re already doing it. All that waits is for us to breathe deeply and being to drink.

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Catherine McNiel is the author of Long Days of Small Things: Motherhood as a Spiritual Discipline (NavPress, 2017). Catherine cares for three kids, works two jobs, and grows one enormous garden. Connect with her at Catherinemcniel.com.

Year of Small Things: 10 things to know

November 29, 2016November 29, 2016Erin Wasinger

Where did the idea for The Year of Small Things come from?

As Sarah tells in more detail in The Year of Small Things: Radical Faith for the Rest of Us, when she and Tom transitioned from a “new monastic” community in the inner city (a Christian household that included homeless guests) to a suburban parsonage, they struggled to translate their former “radical” practices into their new not-so-radical setting.

Mapping out the Year of Small Things

October 4, 2016November 4, 2016Sarah Arthur

Early summer, two years ago:

I (Sarah) pitched an idea to our two families: what if we all took some of the “radical” Christian practices touted by folks like Shane Claiborne and his community The Simple Way and spent a year growing into them? Can downward mobility for Jesus actually happen with debt and diapers and dishes–in suburbia?

Here’s what this looks like on the ground:

Let’s change the world! But first, naps

September 26, 2016November 4, 2016Erin Wasinger

We had found our church; we had met Tom and Sarah and a slew of other friendly folks there.

But it took us a while to get from acquaintances to deeper friendships.

See, The Year of Small Things’s backbone was a relationship between our two families that went beyond a friendship based on mutual interests. After months of figuring out what to even name this relationship, we settled on “covenantal friendship.” Covenantal because we actually ratified a document between our families. The piece of paper bound us to uphold, support, and challenge each other. Covenantal is serious business.

How to find your people (Hint: at church)

September 16, 2016November 4, 2016Erin Wasinger

Dave and I didn’t have a lifelong mission statement, unlike some other people.

We married and had three kids in rapid succession. Since 2008, our lifelong ambition has been to hide the frozen yogurt from the kids.

On the spectrum of radical faith — with Jesus on one end and a bag of marshmallows on the other — Tom and Sarah have been edging ever closer to Jesus since before they were Tom and Sarah. On the other hand, Dave and I simply lived in a succession of beige-walled apartments and one cute single-family house, from Toledo to Lansing by way of Wisconsin.

We spent weeks at our newspaper jobs; weekends doing laundry and watching TV. We have never been arrested for demonstrating outside the Capitol. We haven’t had anyone stay at our house longer than a week or so.

Well, except our children. Do they count?